a for aardvark

I'm feeling kind of mopey today. I don't know. School is kind of depressing me. There's just too much superficiality surrounding how good my grades are. They're really just grades in reality. Letters on a piece of paper. They don't show much more about me than how well I can submit work that adheres to the requirements of a curriculum. And that just depresses me. I love knowledge. I love learning things. I love knowing things. I love knowing how things work. I love talking about how things work with other people. I want to know the nature of the universe. I want to know what we're meant to do. How we came here. So what I'm questioning is why I'm wasting my time sitting here stressing about homework that in reality, it going to have very little effect on the way my specific future plays out. Because what I want to do requires nothing except a positive attitude and an outgoing personality. It's an odd world we live in. Sometimes I enjoy musing about how different I'd be if I were born elsewhere. Perhaps into an indigenous tribe in central Africa.  I don't what to choose Africa because that sounds awfully stereotypical. But this is just hypothetical. I just feel like my time would be spent more productively. You know maybe I might not be given an education that renders me capable of an intellect equal to that of the "civilized" western world but I believe I'd be like a more fulfilling life than I am currently living. This is not to say I'm not grateful of the life I've been given. I fully appreciate it. I recognize that I am extremely privileged. I just wish I could do more with my life. But I'm restricted because of school. I'm restricted because I occupy nearly all my time in an educational system that hardly favors free, productive thought, but rather a system that favors thought that adheres to a preset schedule. And I hate that. I just hate it. I want to learn. But in my way and at my pace. I guess that's what I signed up for though. Public school and all. This is the most efficient and effective way to do it. I suppose my views are a bit naive but I believe there is some truth to them. When I get out of high school I know exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to become certified as a personal trainer and go work at a gym and help people reach their goals regarding fitness and become an advocate for a healthy lifestyle. But most important of all, I'm never going to stop learning. I'm going to learn everything I want to. Philosophy, science, art, food, technology. All of it. And I'm going to love my life. I'm going to be happy. Because that's just where I want to be.

Multimedia Clip:




Cool trailer Samuel showed me.

Anyway I'm off.

Night night.